A day doesn’t go by without me thinking about the power of appreciation. That’s because I have trained my mind to look for the good things in my life, focus my attention on them, and take a moment or two to deeply appreciate the things that matter to me. And even with that, I don’t do it often enough.
My oh-so human brain wants to continue looking for what’s wrong. I’m still learning how to jump in and quiet it down so I can make a more positive choice. It’s getting easier. (Practice does that for you.)
When I talk to friends, colleagues, and clients I make the effort to look for and comment on the qualities that I appreciate and value. I look for the best in them and hold up a mirror so they can see it too. Relationships give us the opportunity to do that. I very often hear, “Thank you so much for telling me that.” “Thank you so much for noticing that about me.”
People who call thank me and tell me the call was “uplifting.” I think that must be because I have tuned my ears to listen for the things that most people don’t hear – courage, perseverance, flexibility, response-ability, caring, attention to detail – things that when reflected show the caller that they were listened to and understood, not just heard.
Do I always do that?
Not yet, but I do it often enough that I get a fairly consistent and positive response as a result. My goal is to create relationships that thrive.
If you are reading my Museletter, my guess is you’ve got “thriving” on your goal list too. Work should be a place where you can go to have your self-esteem and self-worth grow and flourish.
If you are contributing your best, in any area of your job, someone should be noticing and appreciating. Positive Leaders do that well.
To make it easy – here are 4 things you can do as a leader to get an “A”.
Appreciate – Look for and listen for things you appreciate and articulate them. Practice the art first in your own life (Appreciate the weather today, no matter what it is. Appreciate your lunch. Appreciate the fact that you have a job.) Move your energy from your head to your heart, think about a loved one, and feel appreciation. Got the knack? Now think about the people you work with. What’s good about each and every one of them? What can you appreciate?
Acknowledge – Once you have noticed something, acknowledge it out loud or in writing. Name the quality, action, or attitude specifically. “Deb, I love your sense of humor, you always brighten my day.”
Amplify – Say a little more about the quality and how it is useful or how it affects you or others. “Deb, your sense of humor is appreciated by the whole team. We can always count on you to lighten up the discussion, just when we need it. Your timing is perfect.”
Anchor – Go even one step further suggesting how that person might use that quality again in the future. “Deb, your ability to make people laugh puts everyone in a positive and expansive mood. That’s just what we are looking for in the upcoming monthly brainstorming meeting. Will you help me facilitate it?”
Appreciation isn’t always about just saying “Thank You.” It’s a way to broaden and build someone’s thinking about what is possible. It even helps to put that person into a better biochemical condition.
Appreciation and kindness produce serotonin and other beneficial chemicals that keep the human body healthy and calm.
The saddest lament I ever heard in the workplace is “How come they never see me doing something right, but if I do something wrong they are all over me?”
If you want people to flourish at work be sure you are using the 5:1 ratio. Speak up and notice five positive things. Train your eyes and ears to find opportunities to praise, appreciate, and acknowledge people doing the things that matter to the customer and the company.
I appreciate you reading and sharing my Museletter! You are the reason I write it. Please use it well and send others who you think will benefit from it.
I appreciate YOU!
JoAnna
