People Hands Holding

In my last Museletter, I shared some of my thoughts on self-leadership. After all, that is where all leadership begins. I talked about the 5 pillars of self-leadership – I must admit I was proud of myself as that Museletter emerged.


About 3 days after I’d sent it though, I found myself thinking about what I’d written, and I allowed myself to go deeper because it began to feel like I didn’t tell you the whole story.


The beautiful 5 Pillars I put into words last week : Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation, Self-Motivation, Self-Confidence and Self-Resilience really ARE foundational if you want to craft a positive leadership practice that makes a significant positive difference in the world but they are not the whole story. 


What I discovered in the last week is that these 5 pillars – as wonderful as they are, can’t really show up to the degree of their highest expression if TWO other things aren’t happening at the same time – self-love and self-compassion.




That one hit me like of ton of bricks.

After so MANY years of learning/teaching, learning/teaching I’m still working on those two things myself.

My rather strict Italian Catholic upbringing – and being the oldest of four – set me up in life to want things done right, get an “A”, and “go above and beyond.”


That set me up to have high standards, but often they were unrealistic, unkind and uncompromising. Ouch. That eventually led to burnout. My journey back from burnout has been filled with new learning, wisdom, and compassion.

And so this “make-it-in-a-man’s world, tough broad, single mom” has softened considerably through the years.


Like the beach glass I’ve been collecting for years, I’ve noticed that my edges are not so sharp anymore. There is less danger and less chance of getting cut.

I’m beautiful in different ways now.


I’ve traditionally had a strong inner critic (who happens to have a Long Island accent.) Fortunately, she and I have been in serious dialog for a few years now and we are finding peace with one another. That takes acceptance, forgiveness, self-compassion and in my case, a sense of humor.


So, look, the 5 Pillars of Self-Leadership are going to give you a good solid foundation.


But if you want to see your pillars in their best light ever, plant a garden around them and fertilize it with the light of love, forgiveness and self-compassion.

Practice self-love and learn to live in gratitude and the roots of your pillars will grow strong.


It wasn’t that long ago that I discovered that resilience – which we all need right now – is rooted in self=compassion. It’s taken me a long time to understand that the underpinnings of the kind of strength I seek has its roots in mindfulness and forgiveness and compassion.


As you adopt the principles of Self-Leadership and nourish them with love, you will have a different and most positive effect on people.

People want to work with people like you. You vibrate safety and strength. People know that if you can be compassionate with yourself, you can be compassionate with them.


It’s a tough world out there. Those of us capable of rising above need to. Now.

With gratitude,



  1. If all this stuff “sounds easy” but isn’t, you may want to think about Positive Leadership Coaching with me. I’m happy to invite you to a conversation.

Quick question? Just want to book a fabulous “Lunch and Learn” program for your team? Just call. 561-279-0027.

These programs are such great gifts to your employees.

A recent attendee commented that the program on happiness made him feel that his company “really cared about him.” He got paid for his time, enjoyed a fabulous dinner with colleagues and got a fun program that was designed to help him – as a person – evolve his own self-leadership 561-279-0027 Call me and ask about “Lunch and Learn” programs (and yes, we can do them at dinner time too!)

Radiate hope and positivity!  

Jodie – the link again if you need it:

The Buck Stops Here



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