Lots of people think the difference between optimism and pessimism is simply the difference between looking at a glass as half full or half empty.
That’s not even half the story!
Optimism and pessimism are explanatory thinking styles, which means they are two different ways of explaining the world to ourselves (self-talk) at a very deep level.
According to Dr. Martin Seligman, author of Learned Optimism, and my very first happiness teacher, there are three qualities that make up your way of thinking and determine whether you are an optimist or a pessimist.
They are:
- Permanence – Do you believe that one bad, difficult or challenging event will always have a negative effect on you? Do you think that ‘bad luck’ is the story of your life, and that you are helpless to change it? Or do you view individual events as the moments they are, without any real association to challenges of the past or those that might come?
Permanence is about the way you frame events in the context of time. If you are prone to looking at difficult events and states of being in terms of always and never, you probably tend to be a pessimist.
For example, when you say things like, “Diets never work” or “Why do things like this always happen to me?” you have a belief that says, “Nothing ever works out, and I’m still a victim of bad things that happened in my past.”
Pessimists often explain good events in limiting ways. When things are going right they might say, “Oh, it’s just dumb luck” as if they don’t expect their good fortune to last.
Optimists have the opposite approach. They look at challenges as being temporary, singular moments and they view good things that happen as being part of a continuum of good that happens in their lives.
If we take the pessimistic viewpoints above and reframe them from an optimist’s point of view, they’d look like this:
“Diets don’t work when you eat out.”
“When I don’t plan ahead, then things don’t go as expected.”
“Great luck is the story of my life!”
- Pervasiveness – When things go wrong, do you allow your stress and your bad feelings to affect all other areas of your life? Or are you clear on the fact that while one area of life can be very challenging, other areas can be just fine?
According to Dr. Seligman, pervasiveness is about whether you allow a difficulty to wreak havoc throughout each aspect of your life, or you keep a difficulty in its own ‘space.’ As you could probably guess, pessimists are more prone to allowing one stressor to spin out of control.
Typical statements a pessimist makes in this regard would include,
“All managers here are unfair,” or “I can’t do anything right.”
An optimist’s more specific views of the same situations would be:
“The head of human resources made an unfair decision.”
“I made a mistake when I prepared for that presentation.”
- Personalization – Who do you tend to blame when things go wrong – yourself or someone/something else? If you tend to internalize, or blame yourself (“I’m stupid,” or “I stink at writing monthly reports” or “I’m insecure”) you tend toward pessimism.
If you externalize, you tend toward optimism with views like: “This is a stupid situation.” “I could use some assistance in writing my monthly reports.” “I grew up in poverty without the appropriate support systems.”
Even if your mental file cabinet is full of pessimistic beliefs and thinking, you want to start making optimistic choices in thought and in language.
Marty (and I) build a strong case for shedding pessimism.
*Pessimism promotes depression, is associated with poor physical health. *Pessimism produces inertia rather than activity in the face of setbacks.
*Pessimism feels bad subjectively – blue, down, worried, anxious.
*Pessimism is self-fulfilling.
*Pessimists don’t persist in the face of challenges, and therefore fail more frequently – even when success is attainable.
Even when pessimists are right and things turn out badly, they still feel worse. Their explanatory style now converts the predicted setback into a disaster, a disaster into a catastrophe. OUCH!
Now you may have heard me refer to myself as a “Recovering Pessimist.” I do that because I do actually have pessimistic tendencies and so I have to be very careful about what I allow myself to think.
If you or anyone on your team need to know about how your thinking impacts your life and work – call me directly 561-866-0528
or
email me immediately and I will apply a “25% Back to School Discount” on my “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” Lunch and Learn workshop – it’s the one people love the most!
JoAnna
